… whole as I enter the new year. I speak this over my body. My body that is working hard to make good cells after chemo and radiation. I speak this over my mind. My mind that fights against the tide of memory of what has been lost. I speak this over my spirit. My spirit self that is ravenous to be filled, but not hold on to trauma.
I’ve focused a lot of energy, of late, on a return to my old self. It’s how I marked the days during radiation and chemotherapy. But what if I never feel the way I did the months, weeks, days, seconds keading up to my cancer diagnosis? What if my wellness journey means a new and different me? What if some of the things I used to love don’t move me so much anymore, but are replaced with new things to… Keep Reading
I started investing a larger portion of my salary in long term savings and emergency savings like critical illness care health accounts.
Initially, my response to this question was cancer, but that’s not accurate. I’d been living with the pain from my cancer for a few months by the time I received my diagnosis: adjusting my daily routine to accomodate pain and subtle, but lingering fatigue, etc. The biggest change is being sick. I was diagnosed on a Wednesday and by that Friday I had met 1 of my 2 oncologists and had a treatment plan. That was followed by test upon… Keep Reading
When you walk through a sea of bushes and heat and finally you arrive at spot where the perfect little berries live, you know summer is alive.
My cheeky girl after an afternoon of apple picking. This smiles hangs the moon.
Fear. It takes true courage to ask for help. I’m just learning that. I’m the one who helps, who organizes, lays plain the go forth strategy. But what happens when you’re the one in need of a plan, in need of assistance? In the past 3 months, I’ve learned to ask for what I want and what I need. I’m learning I don’t have to apologize for not knowing or not being able to do something. It’s a huge learning… Keep Reading
Hunger by Roxane Gay details the author’s and the world’s relationship with her fat body and by extension all fat bodies. I’ve been reading Roxane Gay for a couple of years beginning with Bad Feminist – a title I was initially drawn to because of my ambivalence to labels or maybe my awareness there are few labels or designations I fully adhere to. But Hunger arrived at an interesting time in my life: I was away from home for a month… Keep Reading
This photo was taken at our favorite orchard on the last day of the picking season – a day before a 3-day torrent of rain. It was also the day I shaved off all my hair because it began shredding after my first chemo treatment. My mom and I drove out to see my daughter at school so she could go with me to do the big chop. Anyone who knows me knows my daughter is my team. I couldn’t… Keep Reading
Thanksgiving. Everyone descended upon my house for 4 days. I soaked up as much of their energy and love as possible to carry me into the new year. Family is everything.